Relationships...

Anyone who knows me knows that when I start thinking about something I investigate the thought or idea until I am tired of thinking about it. The topic that has been on my mind for the last little while (more than usual) is relationships...I asked a handful of people of all ages and status what they thought was needed to make a relationship good, or last. The number one answer from all was TRUST. The second most common answer said from most but not all was communication, one person out of the handful said “being comfortable with yourself.” Another person said “Working as a team.”
Observing these answers I thought these are all very good answers, but they seem so conventional, so standard. It got me thinking that every single person I asked said trust is the number one most important factor to a good or lasting relationship, which shows me that a good majority of people will follow this act or believes it, if so many people are aware of this factor then why are there bad relationships? Is it because when people say “It is important to trust your partner.” It means you should not trust your judgment? If I am suppose to trust my partner and I come across a situation where I’ve gotten a bad feeling about something involving whether or not I trust them, do I ignore it because If you don’t have trust in a relationship you have nothing?
Whatever happened to trust being earned? Let’s face it when something valuable is given to someone for free, the appreciation would not be as rewarding as it would be if it is worked for. That saying has been a rule for as long as I can remember and maybe that is something that should be thought of when trust is acknowledged as a factor. Another person out of the handful when asked the question responded “taking the time to make the effort.” This inspired another thought that I feel is overlooked.
The fact that relationships overall are WORK, and in order to do any job well, it takes interest, patients, the willing to learn, the ability to make mistakes in order to improve, being able to adapt and accept change because there are always changes, and a key factor is the effort that is put into the job. The effort really determines the results of whether it will be a short-term or long-term job, trust is a foundation that comes later...I want you to keep in mind that when I say job I speak of both relationships and workplace (they can be very similar) for instance; when working a job in the beginning there are expectations, once the expectations are met then comes TRUST... because in order to meet someone’s expectations you have to show that you are capable,and willing to put forth the effort on being consistent with meeting or exceeding the initial expectation, in which case you are now trusted to do the job. What if you applied this method when in a relationship or do you? Think about it the difference is the reward.
No two people are the same, there are so many different races, cultures, and beliefs which leads to different methods of thinking, different levels of sensitivity, in which case you have some people that are extremely sensitive and do not take direct communication well, and then you have some people that are not as sensitive and communication is all they know. What is my point? My point is when answering a question such as what makes a relationship good or a lasting one. After breaking things down as much as I could, I would say that there is not a definite answer. What works for one person may not work for another...but if I attempted to try and answer it I would say remember it is WORK and with any job as long as you upkeep the effort that is in the beginning of any relationship you will maintain that relationship.

Shanna