Anyone who knows me knows that when I start thinking about something I investigate the thought or idea until I am tired of thinking about it. The topic that has been on my mind for the last little while (more than usual) is relationships...I asked a handful of people of all ages and status what they thought was needed to make a relationship good, or last. The number one answer from all was TRUST. The second most common answer said from most but not all was communication, one person out of the handful said “being comfortable with yourself.” Another person said “Working as a team.”
Observing these answers I thought these are all very good answers, but they seem so conventional, so standard. It got me thinking that every single person I asked said trust is the number one most important factor to a good or lasting relationship, which shows me that a good majority of people will follow this act or believes it, if so many people are aware of this factor then why are there bad relationships? Is it because when people say “It is important to trust your partner.” It means you should not trust your judgment? If I am suppose to trust my partner and I come across a situation where I’ve gotten a bad feeling about something involving whether or not I trust them, do I ignore it because If you don’t have trust in a relationship you have nothing?
Whatever happened to trust being earned? Let’s face it when something valuable is given to someone for free, the appreciation would not be as rewarding as it would be if it is worked for. That saying has been a rule for as long as I can remember and maybe that is something that should be thought of when trust is acknowledged as a factor. Another person out of the handful when asked the question responded “taking the time to make the effort.” This inspired another thought that I feel is overlooked.
The fact that relationships overall are WORK, and in order to do any job well, it takes interest, patients, the willing to learn, the ability to make mistakes in order to improve, being able to adapt and accept change because there are always changes, and a key factor is the effort that is put into the job. The effort really determines the results of whether it will be a short-term or long-term job, trust is a foundation that comes later...I want you to keep in mind that when I say job I speak of both relationships and workplace (they can be very similar) for instance; when working a job in the beginning there are expectations, once the expectations are met then comes TRUST... because in order to meet someone’s expectations you have to show that you are capable,and willing to put forth the effort on being consistent with meeting or exceeding the initial expectation, in which case you are now trusted to do the job. What if you applied this method when in a relationship or do you? Think about it the difference is the reward.
No two people are the same, there are so many different races, cultures, and beliefs which leads to different methods of thinking, different levels of sensitivity, in which case you have some people that are extremely sensitive and do not take direct communication well, and then you have some people that are not as sensitive and communication is all they know. What is my point? My point is when answering a question such as what makes a relationship good or a lasting one. After breaking things down as much as I could, I would say that there is not a definite answer. What works for one person may not work for another...but if I attempted to try and answer it I would say remember it is WORK and with any job as long as you upkeep the effort that is in the beginning of any relationship you will maintain that relationship.
Shanna
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
MONEY...
MONEY...
What a powerful substance. It is mind blowing how much control a substance that has no pulse, no feeling, no intelligence, no common sense, no remorse, and no guilt can drive people whom have a pulse, feelings, intelligence, common sense, remorse, and guilt to take extreme action to have it. We will hurt even kill for it, and yet it is a material item that can’t perform, influence or teach you right from wrong but we respect it more then we respect each other, we respect it more than we do the things that matter. A common question I ask myself frequently “what is my purpose?” I sometimes would come up with an answer but the answer was always something I wasn’t for sure about, nothing I can really explain I just wasn’t 100% sure that it was what I truly want. In the last year I have come across and answer more than once and I chose to put that option aside because I felt like it was almost impossible to achieve. But every time I try and avoid that answer I find myself stumbling upon it and each time I do I am more sure it’s what I want. If there is anything that is consistent in doing its job it’s the news. Have you ever sat still and allowed your mind to wonder? Have you ever sat still and thought about the world we live in, the people in the world and what makes you different? You might be surprised with the answers that pop in your head. This is something I do a lot and unfortunately I am not happy with my answers, I think about situations such as the seal slaughter, cruelty to animals, situations where they are being skinned and even worse they are skinned alive, let’s not forget the lovely oil spill, the G20 summit and how the people were not only inappropriate but just out right wrong in the sense that we can hurt each other so easily, forgetting that the people held accountable for things leading to what they did are people we have chosen and trust to LEAD US AS A SOCIETY. And also how during the chaos of the G20 a lot of the reporters would make comments such as “this behaviour is not the Canadian way”, I think about being at work sometimes and witnessing people get angry about having to wait a few more minutes to be helped, or getting mad at someone making a mistake. I think about people thinking they should be treated better or different then someone else because of what they do for a living. I think about how people worry about money and the difference it can make in their lives and not about themselves and the difference they can make in someone else’s life. With thinking about these few things on a regular my goal is to want to change it, I want people to care, but when you live in a world where value is about power, money and personally benefiting how do you compete with that? How do you get that larger percentage of people who don’t care to realize that if they did care the world would be a much more fulfilling place? How do you get people to realize that the people (called our government) are only in power because we give them the value to be classified in a position of power? How do you get people to understand that if there wasn’t citizenship, money, and racism we would actually realized that we all breath the same air, need to eat the same food and survive the same way, we would see that we are all equal? This proves that we put more value into money then we do each other. When I read this out load it sounds like a very crazy task...but if I focus on it as much as I do it’s got to be worth giving a shot, don’t you think?
Shanna Armogan
What a powerful substance. It is mind blowing how much control a substance that has no pulse, no feeling, no intelligence, no common sense, no remorse, and no guilt can drive people whom have a pulse, feelings, intelligence, common sense, remorse, and guilt to take extreme action to have it. We will hurt even kill for it, and yet it is a material item that can’t perform, influence or teach you right from wrong but we respect it more then we respect each other, we respect it more than we do the things that matter. A common question I ask myself frequently “what is my purpose?” I sometimes would come up with an answer but the answer was always something I wasn’t for sure about, nothing I can really explain I just wasn’t 100% sure that it was what I truly want. In the last year I have come across and answer more than once and I chose to put that option aside because I felt like it was almost impossible to achieve. But every time I try and avoid that answer I find myself stumbling upon it and each time I do I am more sure it’s what I want. If there is anything that is consistent in doing its job it’s the news. Have you ever sat still and allowed your mind to wonder? Have you ever sat still and thought about the world we live in, the people in the world and what makes you different? You might be surprised with the answers that pop in your head. This is something I do a lot and unfortunately I am not happy with my answers, I think about situations such as the seal slaughter, cruelty to animals, situations where they are being skinned and even worse they are skinned alive, let’s not forget the lovely oil spill, the G20 summit and how the people were not only inappropriate but just out right wrong in the sense that we can hurt each other so easily, forgetting that the people held accountable for things leading to what they did are people we have chosen and trust to LEAD US AS A SOCIETY. And also how during the chaos of the G20 a lot of the reporters would make comments such as “this behaviour is not the Canadian way”, I think about being at work sometimes and witnessing people get angry about having to wait a few more minutes to be helped, or getting mad at someone making a mistake. I think about people thinking they should be treated better or different then someone else because of what they do for a living. I think about how people worry about money and the difference it can make in their lives and not about themselves and the difference they can make in someone else’s life. With thinking about these few things on a regular my goal is to want to change it, I want people to care, but when you live in a world where value is about power, money and personally benefiting how do you compete with that? How do you get that larger percentage of people who don’t care to realize that if they did care the world would be a much more fulfilling place? How do you get people to realize that the people (called our government) are only in power because we give them the value to be classified in a position of power? How do you get people to understand that if there wasn’t citizenship, money, and racism we would actually realized that we all breath the same air, need to eat the same food and survive the same way, we would see that we are all equal? This proves that we put more value into money then we do each other. When I read this out load it sounds like a very crazy task...but if I focus on it as much as I do it’s got to be worth giving a shot, don’t you think?
Shanna Armogan
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
A litte free style writing after a ruff day.
Take a deep breath; you can't make sense of everything. If you could then you wouldn't need friends or family. It's frustrating not being able to explain the logic behind stupid and or an unfair situation, is it coincidence that Marvin Gaye's song "What's going on" just came on the radio the very moment I decided to write this?
What's going on? What's going on? That's a question I've been asking myself a lot lately...I actually think the source of my anger, bitterness, sadness (when I am ) is thinking about how screwed up the world and the people in it are sometimes and I honestly and truly feel that there isn't a damn thing that can be done about it. People always say it starts with you...bullsh%t, what difference does my giving a sh%t make to those that say they give a sh%t and do nothing about it and those that don't hide that they don't give a sh%t.
Take a deep breath, you can't make sense of everything, if you could then you wouldn't learn anything...you wouldn't learn if you're impatient or patient. I use to be both but lately I feel more impatient, annoyed...sometimes if feels good to be mean, rude, spiteful, could that be a result of my surrounding? I am sometimes unhappy with where I am in my life I am meant to do more, I feel unaccomplished, I feel like my confidence is slipping away from me. "You shouldn't let bad things discourage you, if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger..." What if some people are sh*t out of luck in that department?(some people are) My head is hurting with all these thoughts, unanswered questions... there is so much I want to do in my life and when I was 16 ten years ago I thought by now I would have done it. I want to be a singer, I want to be an actor in a horror movie and survive, I want to publish some of my stories, I want to model for a huge lingerie company, I want to stop people from being cruel and sick, I want to own a nightclub, I want to get married, have children and be happy. If I say this to anyone who works a 9 to 5 I am not being realistic, it's okay to dream but you got to have a backup plan for when reality sinks in and you realize you can't do those things...what's the point of dreaming if you need a backup plan???
What's going on? What's going on? That's a question I've been asking myself a lot lately...I actually think the source of my anger, bitterness, sadness (when I am ) is thinking about how screwed up the world and the people in it are sometimes and I honestly and truly feel that there isn't a damn thing that can be done about it. People always say it starts with you...bullsh%t, what difference does my giving a sh%t make to those that say they give a sh%t and do nothing about it and those that don't hide that they don't give a sh%t.
Take a deep breath, you can't make sense of everything, if you could then you wouldn't learn anything...you wouldn't learn if you're impatient or patient. I use to be both but lately I feel more impatient, annoyed...sometimes if feels good to be mean, rude, spiteful, could that be a result of my surrounding? I am sometimes unhappy with where I am in my life I am meant to do more, I feel unaccomplished, I feel like my confidence is slipping away from me. "You shouldn't let bad things discourage you, if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger..." What if some people are sh*t out of luck in that department?(some people are) My head is hurting with all these thoughts, unanswered questions... there is so much I want to do in my life and when I was 16 ten years ago I thought by now I would have done it. I want to be a singer, I want to be an actor in a horror movie and survive, I want to publish some of my stories, I want to model for a huge lingerie company, I want to stop people from being cruel and sick, I want to own a nightclub, I want to get married, have children and be happy. If I say this to anyone who works a 9 to 5 I am not being realistic, it's okay to dream but you got to have a backup plan for when reality sinks in and you realize you can't do those things...what's the point of dreaming if you need a backup plan???
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Shame On you!!!
What I can’t seem to understand is why the human race can’t seem to learn that they can’t play God, because they aren’t God. Choosing who lives and who dies no matter how much power you have, no matter who you are, or no matter what government you’re apart of does not give you the right or the authority to take a life or decide how their life is taken, whether it’s an animal or a human being. Canada is known for being a place of individuality, a place that supports and embraces things and cultures that are different...but we ban a breed of dogs because they are feared, if that’s the case then maybe you should ban cultures and people because they are feared for example Muslims whom are classified as terrorist can’t set foot anywhere without being stereotyped and feared because they might be wearing an explosive device. Now I am reading that baby seals are bashed in the head and skinned for their fur, after seeing it with my own eyes I don’t know how any human being with any kind of soul, or respect for life could do this. It not only made me sick to my stomach to watch, but it made me see that we are forgetting that the moral of life is to survive, we as a world have become so greedy, so vain, and our minds are consumed with this obsession of status, money, power, and material things to try and make us better than one another that any act of cruelty will be done in order to achieve these things. Bashing the head of a baby seal or a seal for that matter for their fur is no different than taking a child or a person and bashing their head in for their skin. because humans aren’t on the market...if anyone decided to start bashing their head in for their skin...better yet how about bash the head of your child or someone you’re close to and love very much, they would be considered crazy, sick, cruel, and would be punished...what makes seals any different? Is it because they can’t talk, is it because their level of intelligence don’t meet your expectation therefore you classify them as pointless living mammals and decided that they would make better coats? The title of the article read “Shame on you Canada”...I would have to say shame on the world for progressing to this state at all, things that seem to be of most importance to people in the world are things that won’t matter after we are dead and gone. I was taught that you do onto others as you want done to you, and I really think our so called leaders, Prime minister and anyone else supporting this act really underestimate the POWER of karma.
Sincerely,
Someone ashamed to be represented by you...
Shanna Armogan
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