A litte free style writing after a ruff day.

Take a deep breath; you can't make sense of everything. If you could then you wouldn't need friends or family. It's frustrating not being able to explain the logic behind stupid and or an unfair situation, is it coincidence that Marvin Gaye's song "What's going on" just came on the radio the very moment I decided to write this?
What's going on? What's going on? That's a question I've been asking myself a lot lately...I actually think the source of my anger, bitterness, sadness (when I am ) is thinking about how screwed up the world and the people in it are sometimes and I honestly and truly feel that there isn't a damn thing that can be done about it. People always say it starts with you...bullsh%t, what difference does my giving a sh%t make to those that say they give a sh%t and do nothing about it and those that don't hide that they don't give a sh%t.
Take a deep breath, you can't make sense of everything, if you could then you wouldn't learn anything...you wouldn't learn if you're impatient or patient. I use to be both but lately I feel more impatient, annoyed...sometimes if feels good to be mean, rude, spiteful, could that be a result of my surrounding? I am sometimes unhappy with where I am in my life I am meant to do more, I feel unaccomplished, I feel like my confidence is slipping away from me. "You shouldn't let bad things discourage you, if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger..." What if some people are sh*t out of luck in that department?(some people are) My head is hurting with all these thoughts, unanswered questions... there is so much I want to do in my life and when I was 16 ten years ago I thought by now I would have done it. I want to be a singer, I want to be an actor in a horror movie and survive, I want to publish some of my stories, I want to model for a huge lingerie company, I want to stop people from being cruel and sick, I want to own a nightclub, I want to get married, have children and be happy. If I say this to anyone who works a 9 to 5 I am not being realistic, it's okay to dream but you got to have a backup plan for when reality sinks in and you realize you can't do those things...what's the point of dreaming if you need a backup plan???